Two days to lose their heads in Paris

I’m in Paris, and it’s Bastille Day in France–kind of a big deal. It was the day Jean Q. Public stormed the Bastille and began the process of taking back all their shit and plucking the heads off of King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Hence, the Louvre Museum is free on Bastille Day. Plus, the World Cup Finals with France against Croatia is on Sunday. If I drank, it would be the perfect reason for a two-day bender. As if I ever needed a reason. I wonder how you say “yee haw” in French.

Who was Mr. Guillotine? Dr. Guillotine proposed the use of the device Antoine Louis invented as a kinder gentler form of execution. Stop it Doc, you’re making me weepy. Originally, I think they had a series of butter knives come down from the chopping block inflicting minimal damage. So it was back to the drawing board. When they rolled out the prototype, do you think they had any volunteers? Too bad Gillette wasn’t around. They could have had a 5-blade or a 7-blade Guillotine.

You can still see a guillotine at the Police Museum at, 4 rue de la Montagne Saint Genevieve, or you can buy one online to scare your kids in case they get too high and mighty. Or you could just give them a timeout.

I’ve seen hundreds of headless statues in museums in France. Where did all the heads go? There must be a Head Museum tucked away somewhere. The Committee for Public Safety in 1793 sounds wonderful. I would have felt so safe knowing that everything was peaches and cream. There were self-righteous factions warring against one another, wheeling the decapitator around Paris until they all lost their heads. Would have been a good time to have a sharpening service.

Today on Avenue Champs-Elysees there is a military parade starting at the Arc de Triomphe and ending on the Place de la Concorde. Tonight, dudes and dudettes, there is a mammoth free concert and fireworks show on Champs de Mars near the base of the Eiffel Tower, which will look like a rocket that never gets off the launch pad.

Who doesn’t want to dance with a Pompier (Fireman) besides me? There will be an all night Bals des Pompier at multiple fire stations with music, champagne and dancing, but leave your matches at home because these folks want the night off.

Second day in Paris. View from my street, a car from a wedding procession burning to the ground.

Whatever floats your bateau; there’s a little something for everyone.

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